Phthalo

by Sam Goodwill

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    This is a Limited Edition First-Run 12” cut on classic black vinyl.
    Released by Misra Records / Peppermint Records

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  • Full Digital Discography Full Digital Discography

    Get all 6 Sam Goodwill releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Lo Key, Phthalo, The Opposite Of Love, Every Other Anthology (single), History, and Stampede. , and , .

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1.
Bullets 04:36
For the fading tattoos and the dog-eared bible For the blind that follow the blind For the college dropout And the part time job How many bullets did you expect to dodge How man bullets can one expect to dodge For the footprints that sink in from town to town For the feelings and light that translate to sound For the wheels on the van that go round and round How many bullets can one expect to dodge? How many bullets did you expect to dodge? Teenaged angst has yet to pay off well Now I’m bored and even older that Kurt Cobain was After he did everything that he did ... after everything. How many bullets can one expect to dodge? How many bullets did you expect to dodge? How many?
2.
I don’t think you’re a monster But I don’t throw words like that around It just seems like you only understand one side of the coin As you press on your thumbnail Pressure building to the breaking point When you flip And you float And you fall Goddamn if any one knows how you land What do you do when all the light bulbs burn out And the food in the fridge goes bad What do you do when no one picks you up Or counts on you again I don’t think you’re a sadist But I don’t throw words like that around It just seems like you only understand one side of the fear As you bang your head against the mirror In which you look at the whole world through And you rattle And you shake And you roll Goddamn if anyone knows how you land What do you do when all the light bulbs burn out And the food in the fridge goes bad What do you do when no one picks you up Or counts on you again
3.
I have nightmares every night Maybe it’s my subconscious Dealing with the great ironies of life I used to take my close off In front of anyone who’d help More often than I might of If I considered anyone but myself The opposite of love isn’t hate I have nightmares all the time Different scene different villain every night Killing off everyone that I love One by one The opposite of love isn’t hate
4.
Grenades 04:02
The salt is sinking into the wound The grain is singular From the mouths of babes I used to think we were time bombs waiting Our turn just to get our clocks cleaned Two states over with your thumb out Walking backwards trying not to count Instead you watch them all ignore you Maybe we are grenades Pin-less With bright futures But vulnerable in the hands Of a stranger who may or may not be aware How dangerous and incomplete we are
5.
When I consider the possible quantity Of bad dreams had about me I’ll never know about Unspoken entirely How we think we tread so lightly Speechless when you see a picture Of your family taken before you were born Speechless when you meet your idol for the first time Way after their prime Drop a penny in the water And wonder and wander So far that you never hear the sound Of the phthalo and copper Cleaning the well And now you have to choose What it’s like when all the ends are loose I am Jesus if he lived past thirty three I am Saint Nicholas pre- World War Two I am Superman issue one
6.
I cannot let go And be satisfied with an honest scribble I’d rather slave over a piece of paper to pencil a perfect circle And when the night turns to morning Before I let myself close my eyes Holding two bowing peace signs The quote unquote victimless crimes Maybe once the pantheon can wait Maybe my lonesome can be postponed without making me late As if my has been friends Could meet my would be kids And through the black iris we’d witness Above the bouquet banners waving Refusing to let go of the haft of the fall A delicate balance of bloom Having standards until our answers are questioned I got standards until my answers are finally questioned
7.
Oxygen 04:21
Tear down the building keep the façade Only one way to the company of an omnipresent god It is so unidirectional The endless pursuit of unconditional love That we’ve become belligerent among it Olly Olly oxygen Don’t lie about my age Or guess my i.q. To the men on the cast To the women on the crew The history the vanity The illusion of value They are not you I know I know (But where are you) Ali Ali oxygen Cut of your feet Just to see if you can Walk the line And prove that the line Is worthy of your pain Worthy of your praise Worthy of your shame But they are not you I know I know I know Olly Olly oxygen
8.
Ten Seconds 04:38
Is the way to the heart from the lips? Or is it the other way around? Is one less alive without the other? Do dreams only live and die in sleep, mostly unremembered? I want to spend the rest of my life In a dream within a dream-slowmotion Gauntlet of everything I’ve taken for granted Give it a ten second hug I want to spend the rest of my life In a dream within a dream Inhaling the oxygen From every impulsive argument taken part in Give it a ten second hug Or is there some kind of constant consciousness Happening underneath, always Vibrate the chords With something that you believe And surrender I want to spend the rest of my life With the friends I never made or neglected Chasing self inflicted eyes on the prize bullshit Give it a ten second hug I want to spend the rest of my life Reaching for the snapshot moments I missed Every time I blinked Or passed out Or slept in Give it a ten second hug
9.
I am unrecognizable to myself I don’t mean when I look in the mirror Ideas and ideals I held near Evolved and all but disappeared But you’re alive right now Sometimes I feel like an experiment or a bet Like on “Trading Places” The promised riches bearing no resemblance To the secret truth Like all the millions of sperm that died So that you might live The likelihood of your parents having met Or their parents, or their parents, Etcetera Que sera sera Because you’re alive right now And I’m alive right now So hold on to it Like you never held on to anything before What you do with it Doesn’t really matter As long as you’re sure That your alive right now And I’m alive right now You’re alive right now And I’m alive right now You’re alive right now And I’m alive right now

credits

released September 27, 2019

Recorded at Peppermint Studio by Gary Rhamy
Recorded & Mixed at Historian Recording Co. by Sam A. Buonavolonta
Recorded at Space Jan's At The Ward Hilton by Dean Anshutz
Mastered at Cauliflower Audio by Adam Boose

All Songs Written & Arranged by Sam A. Buonavolonta

Bob Young - Drums on all songs *except Before You Were Born
Seth Basista - Bass on The Opposite of Love
Jenna Barvitski - Violin on Bullets, Before You Were Born & Ten Seconds
Melanie & Tillie Buonavolonta - Background Vocals on Quote Unquote
Dean Anshutz - Auxiliary Percussion on The Opposite of Love & Oxygen
* All other instruments by Sam A. Buonavolonta

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Sam Goodwill Youngstown, Ohio

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